The sad truths being the eldest daughter in an Asian family...

25th May 2014, Sunday

... is that the younger siblings will never ever be able to understand what it takes to be the eldest daughter in the family. Especially if you have a male sibling. The conventional thinking that sons are important in the family exists as parents are still from that era.

Now, I know a lot of younger ones, upon reading the first paragraph will be cursing, what the heck, wtf? But I will be straight up and honest right away. If you think its offensive and inappropriate,  you can choose not to read it. Im not stopping you.

Right from our younger days, as the eldest daughter in the family, we are told to behave in our best manner, do what we are told, set a good example for our siblings to follow. We did that, with no qualms. The younger ones tend to get more defiant during their puberty days, and yet they get away. We want to get defiant, but the answers we get from our parents are do you want to let down your parents? That social norm that eldest have to behave in their best is scary. Please note that I didn't even mention if there are comparisons among the siblings in the family.

And yet we think, probably things will get better when we get older. Sad fact, they don't. Finish our compulsory education, be it diploma or university education, we then graduate and start our working lives so as not to let our parents down. If you have siblings, be it a younger sister or, especially a younger brother in the family, u know perhaps among yourselves you guys may have talked about how to support our parents when they retire. That, is just talk. Don't ever think it will come true, or go your way. Especially if they are still single.

The society is changing. The roles of guys and ladies are changing. MALES nowadays, pa pa zao. Olden saying goes 生儿养老 生女烦恼. Nowadays its the opposite 生女养老 生儿烦恼. 生儿觉得儿子将来会感激你的养育之恩吗? 会在你老的时候照顾你吗? 等久久。 你真的疼错孩子了，趁你现在还年轻，能活动脑子，赶快把你的注意力放在您的女儿吧。一句问题，很简单的。看看你家里四处吧，看看厨房，家里的电视机，微波炉，热水壶，电饭锅，电冰箱，洗衣机，或许饭桌，家里翻新，都是谁处理的。家里有大女儿的话，很难不会猜到就是大女儿给买来的。

我，还没有继续说。我为什么说男人有了女朋友就pa pa zao. Guys nowadays are more prone to the feminine side. Once they are attached, they listen fully to their girlfriends or partners, even going ahead to move into their girlfriend's house and live with his in-laws. 这种例子非常多。Once they move in, 这句话很决 但是 就当作你已经失去一个儿子了吧。别想说您儿子会经常慰问你。别盼望他每个月的家用会给得多，现在的他还得付家翁家婆那边每个月的费用，哪来额外的钱给你? 别指望他会带你们出国散心，额外的开销，休想了吧。他，总是听女方的话，觉得他会听你的吗? 10句的一句吧。 现在养儿子，是养来给别人做儿子的咯，您不知道吗? 男孩一周只回来一次，说什么这样不行，那样不可以，老实说，你又没在家待着，凭什么说啥? 说什么妈妈就老是放在心上。这里也问一句话，儿子爱吃什么妈妈们都知道吧，那女儿们爱吃什么您可否知道吗?

做家中的大女儿，毕业后尽快找工作，分担家中的负担。妈妈说家里的什么什么坏了，需要换新的，需要修一修，女儿听了立马隔天把事情解决好。说结婚的结婚，还没结婚的，继续和父母一块住。结婚的，通常都会好过些，因为毕竟分开了，摩擦少，会拉近家庭关系。目前还没的，就得默默承受和屈服在儒家思想女儿的位置。

长大了，在每个家庭里，肯定会提到钱的话题。现在的家庭都没以前大，家中孩子多数两三个，最多到五个。五个当中，有几个男，几个女呢。父母又是怎么如何看待男和女的呢。别惊讶了， 如今父母都还是很重视男，纵容男，最终财产还是归男。钱多话最大，如今女生賺的还比男生多。父母发生什么事，女儿总是第一时间赶到。但父母确实纵容男，最总临死前遗嘱也归给男。会很无语的。但又如何? 屈服于身为女儿。

做大女儿是很辛苦的。如果能够读到这里的各位弟弟妹妹们，请你们多多照顾你们的爸爸妈妈，帮忙分担大姐的负担吧。